But not during the day. Only at night. But I don't feel hungry. But I do feel decidedly not-right. But only at night. During the day I feel great. I have energy all day; I wake up happy and alert and ready to go. And then it gets dark. And the bitch emerges from the shadows to snap at Tim or get really annoyed with anything. Then I eat dinner. Then I crash.
Is this healthy?
I just don't know.
I pee lots, which means stuff is getting cleaned out. But I feel fat. I have way more all-day energy (which is an enormous benefit I wasn't even expecting), but my knee still hurts very much a lot. I still want chocolate, but am only consumed by this need mid-afternoon at which time I eat an apple or just wait it out, and then it's gone (And that is so noodle waxing!). I'm at least a two-cups-a-day coffee drinker, but now I only want one (this is getting strange and unusual). And you know that glass of wine I was allowed every night? I kind of don't want it. Mostly because I feel decidedly not-right at night. But also because I have absolutely no specific urgings of any kind. And if nothing else, I've realized I'm an eat-by-the-urges (and whatever Tim puts in front of me) kind of eater.
So...strange things are happening to me.
Honestly, I HATE having to obsess about food. I HATE having to plan ahead so that I will not be stuck hungry without things I can eat, and I HATE it that my knee still hurts.
But then again, what did I expect?
That for half a week I'd cut out carbs and miraculously shed 5 pounds, feel great, my knee would be in perfect health, and I'd have a fabulous tan to boot?
I guess I need to chill out.
Maybe I will have that wine tonight.
In other news: I've been gym hunting. Uuuggggggggghhhhhhhhh.
I bought goggles and a cap yesterday for the pool by my house. Double ugh.
But I can't do nothing. And currently, my knee is allowing for none of my somethings. I am trying not to get depressed and am now going into "healthy injury-recovery mode."
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4 comments:
with titles like this, you're sure to double your readership. sorry about your knee, girl. good luck with the swimming. some folks at my school convinced me to train for a sprint tri this summer. i'm excited but have yet to hit the pool...
mamacita!! number 1: you ain't fat and I don't care what you eat, you will never be fat. number 2: I do not believe in deprivation. In regards to food it can lead to a binge attack and abnormal (and potentially dangerous) mood swings - ahem, "cranky bitch". number 3: go for the whole bottle.
Thanks Amanda--I know I'm not fat, but I was feeling like I was. I don't believe in deprivation either. That's why feeling hungry wasn't doing for it me. I'm not deprived, I've just cut the suguar and now I don't even want it. I'll add it back in slowly, but at this point, I'm not craving anything so I think a binge would be out of the question. Oh, and while I didn't go for the whole bottle, it was definitely more than the alloted 5 ounces or whatever!
Since Monday was only day 4; I am thinking you are having normal withdrawal symptons. Let me know how the rest of the week was for you. I love you, precious! Mom
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